siannnn
Friday, July 27, 2007
10:21 PM
[why do people cry? i don't really get how sometimes you don't WANT to cry, but the tears still flow all the same. frankly, it's annoying. cause your mum goes: "cry for what? we're not scolding you." and you wanna act all tough by saying: "do you think i want to?" but then you say it and your voice gets caught in your throat cause of your mucus and stuff. totally W.E.A.K.anyways. totally shitted cock up with the prom and the vacation. so, here's the laydown. i NEVER intended to attend prom. but due to certain courses of events, i decided "fine. i'll go." and it hits me, straight in the face. overseas trip. only thing i remember about it is that we leave 15 nov. and the prom's 22 nov. so i call my dad IN CASE the vacation's not till then. he says it's up to the 25th. CONGRATS.
anyways. so the update now is that my dad changed the flight (but i didn't know) and i [thought] i couldn't go (and he didn't know). so he "changed the flight for nothing" and for some reason or another, when he gets flustered... it's not... a pretty sight.
anyways. (notice i use anyways alot..) he gets flustered... i get... more flustered. then... confirmed by all others, the seat has in fact been taken. then confirmed by sushan, her side's taken too. so i'm screwed. but then candhira, being such a nice person, offered me his seat. which was SUPER NICE. anyways. i couldn't do that!! *tsk* so... yeah... from what mau and can say, there can be up to 12 people in one table... which i'm still kinda... *edge away* about...
hmm...
paranoia... help.]
^above post was written at 10.41pm 26.07.07
current situation: EFFING CONFUSED.
so i don't know what's going on.. cause no one's saying anything. they're just all getting "pissed off" and crying and agitated and stuff and i don't know what's going on.. but it SEEMS that i'm supposed to be sitting with sushan, wy, xy, veron, suettheng ++ and many more. but anyways. i don't think i'm going to be sitting down much on that day, judging by the circumstances.. i guess all this wouldn’t be as taxing and ... annoying if i didn’t go.. but now i’ve given my word i can’t back out. lest my absence ruin others day cause of the pricing and other shit...
i guess it would all have been better if i hadn’t made my mind up to go in the first place. I’d be a happier person... i guess.... i mean. what’s prom night? It’s nothing big is it..... i guess...
i don’t know.. i’m just... feeling very awkward now. as though there’s this nagging feeling in the back of my head. i feel like i’m going to throw up or something. as though my body’s telling me that i’ve done something or made some decision that i shouldn’t have. i think i’m going to spoil my day and everyone elses...
shall go emo in a corner. tootles.
What if i had never made stupid decisions. wouldn’t it be~ nice.
AND i have a borrowing list. well, books lent out.
harrypotter andthe chamberofsecrets : ruey chyi
harrypotter andthe prisonerofazkaban : yijing
my sisters keeper : weiying
the five people you meet in heaven : wenyan
a walk to remember : wenyan
things i've borrowed.
yijing : ye man tian nu
aunty jo : it started with a kiss
and i have a feeling i've borrowed something else... but.... hmm.
K-LOVE
notsoSUNNILY and one of these days when i go berserk,
you better hope that i don't have a knife with me.